Ashtray's Heart

2013

I’m starting here because this was when I first started really dating after being in a long serious relationship.

It was my first Christmas in England and I went to my friend’s house for Christmas Day. She lived with her boyfriend and his whole family was there..including his cousin.
I disliked him straight away.
He kept drinking energy drinks, wore a massive hoodie and baggy pants, sweated the whole time and just acted like he was too cool to hang out with his family. Wow, what a turn on.
I could tell he was into me mostly because he kept following me around everywhere around their tiny house.
In my head I kept thinking..not.in.a.million.years!
I went home and the second I arrived I realised he added me on Facebook and just kept messaging me. To be fair he was quite nice, lets give e him that.
He lived like 2 minutes from me so he would come over as often as he could and pull the whole stretch and put his arms around me. I kept talking about how I wasn’t interested in anything romantic and he kept trying to convince me.
I moved house and he still came over. At this point it’s been like 4 months since I’d had sex so I thought why not.
Let me tell you the story of why not..
The sex was average, not gonna lie his dick was big but I had to do all the work and I’m not about that life :D

After that night HE NEVER LEFT.

This is how I found myself in a relationship.
He just never left, when he needed to go home he made me go with him. I didn’t mind too much, I really liked his mum and their cats :D
Eventually we decided to move in together. I think I liked the feeling of being in a relationship again. But it didn’t last. He had been unemployed the whole time, I was at uni working 3 part time jobs at one point and he didn’t even bother to vacuum our room. You can imagine how sexy that made me feel.
I pretty much hated him at that point and tried breaking up with him. He threw me against the wall. Now Im fat so I never thought anyone could do that with me. He could.

Soon after I decided to move and told him we can stay together but I needed more space for my stuff. A month later I broke up with him and he refused to leave for 5 days. When he finally left he threatened to burn the stuff I had at his house and carried on hacking into my account and reading my messages with my new boyfriend for months.

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Something to do

My best friend sent me a link to an article about some girl’s shitty date and I loved it. Its not a secret that my love life is and always has been tragic and considering I’ve been quarantined for 20 days now I don’t have anything better to do than start writing about my horrible dates :D

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